Yin without Jan
What am I supposed to do when I know ahead of time that my balance is going to be thrown off kilter? Well, On board a ship there is only one answer, try to maintain as much balance as you can so you don’t go overboard, so to speak. My balance is Julian and as of tomorrow, he will become a charm on my necklace, a box of letters, a couple of pictures on my wallet, and a string of beautiful memories, all of which I will use as my life buoy to keep me afloat.
In time I hope we become an inbox full of emails and a continued box of postcards but only time will tell. For tonight I am still watching him type on his computer, and hearing him complain about not getting enough sleep, and watching him smile at me because I can still do so.
However, I know as I sit there across from him eating dinner with him tonight for the last time that I am going to be sad that there won’t be a letter under my door the next morning, or that he won’t be there expecting to see me at lunch, or that we will no longer be able to run away for just an hour in port to just enjoy each others company. I know very well that as off tomorrow I will be Yin without Jan.