This song plays in the background as I am writing, only human, and I think that sometimes on-board ships you are expected to have this perfect image. This image has to hold in front of guests, co-workers, and sometimes even those you consider close. The thing is that I have realized that I have also come to expect that perfect image of myself, but I am nowhere near perfect.
I am from a culture where looking into someones eyes isn’t much, where dancing to our music is a joy, and making close friends is a priority, but on ships this means I seduce everyone I speak to, dance too sexily for those who lay their eyes upon me, and those that claim to be my friends call me spicy. I would like to mention that I have done nothing aside from look in the direction of the people I allegedly seduce and nothing else.
Sure I may occasionally find myself whispering into someone’s ear in a crowded room, or playing with Nicholas’ hair because it is soft and flowy, or sharing a long conversation with my favorite male waiter, but the truth is I am only human. At the moment, my heart lies somewhere in Belgium with a boy named Julian, but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally notice a handsome guy that walks my way, I am only human.
However, every time I am faced with this dilemma, I am forced to change who I am to be this pristine image of myself that people around me expect me to be. This time, I will not apologize. I am perfectly imperfect in my own little way. Which is one of the many reasons why Julian, out of the many men on the ship was the only guy that I actually directed my attention to. Julian got to know me, not who I pretended to be. He liked me for my dancing, eye-contact loving, honest and real ways. Julian always understood that we are only human and that from time to time you may find a person whose imperfect pieces match yours perfectly because being imperfect is the sole definition of being human.